Have you ever wondered if things are a bit too small for God to be interested in? That you’re bothering Him with them? I must have thought that way because I remember being surprised to discover otherwise. Anyone else?
The day my eyes were opened to my wrong way of thinking was the day we had to say goodbye to Tyrone, the second of our original dogs.
18 months earlier, it was Tyrone’s mother’s time. Believing he could cope on his own, Gareth thought he would protect me by waiting until I had headed to work. His intentions were good, but it wasn’t the right thing. While I had missed the precious moments of saying goodbye to our beloved but old and sick little dog, I discovered later he didn’t ‘cope’ with the emotional upheaval either. Neither of us had a relationship with the Lord then and it was a lonely, heartbreaking time.
This time – with lessons of how we deal with grief under our belt, and our relationships with God restored – although still heartbroken, I waited in the house praying. I was on the fringe of being slightly more than hoping my hubby would be okay.
They were gone for no more than ten minutes when Gareth stumbled blindly back through the paddocks to the house, carrying the lifeless form in his arms, tears pouring unhindered down his cheeks. Running out to meet them I looked at Gareth wanting to know but unable to say anything. But he looked at me instead and through the tears thickening his voice said, “That was the most amazing experience I have ever had.”
I was dumbfounded. It was so unexpected. Laying our boy on the ground we sat beside him, stroking and kissing him while I waited for Gareth to say more.
“After he had gone, I stood there not knowing what to do – just like last time. But then I heard God’s Voice in my heart telling me to lay my hands on him. I knelt in the pine needles and laid both my hands on his body, and I felt this peace fill me. A love so amazing, so immense, I’ve never experienced anything like it before. And I knew God cared. Not just about me but also about our dog. He cares about the things we care about. He cares about our pain of losing him. I understood suddenly He cares about all of His creation. He was right with me babe. I wasn’t alone.”
In grief and wonder, the two of us bowed over our boy and sobbed out our loss and heartache with a brand-new understanding of this loving God we had in our lives. The One whom we had invited to live in our hearts; to lead us through the complexities of life. The One who has the answers. For everything.
In the years since, with the loss of each of our beloved pets, God has seen us through our pain, shouting His love to us at every moment, and comforting us in our grief.
You know what? The small things are huge. Our little concerns do not ‘bother’ God – there is NOTHING God is not concerned about. Big or small. There is nothing we cannot take to Him. Weirdly it’s in the small things that I see how greatly this Creator of the Universe cares.
PD Dawn xx
cslewis, God bothering, He shouts love in our pain, Purpose